Lisa G Saw • December 22, 2022

Visualisation And Thinking Positively

It feels appropriate to be writing this blog exactly a year after my stepdad passed away. I wanted to write about visualisation and how it helped me in the lead up to his memorial. My mum had asked me to read a poem on the day and I wanted to be sure I could deliver it without getting emotional. In preparation, it wasn’t enough to just read the poem over and over daily for about a week. I had to visualise myself reading it inside the church on the day. I imagined standing at the lectern in front of the rows of people, all dressed in an array of colour and not the usual drab black. I made a point of imagining myself reading the poem slowly and calmly, with confidence and composure. Every day I practiced and went through this same visualisation.

During the spring, I’d read several self-help books and in the week leading up to my stepdad’s memorial I finished another, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. All of these books were more or less saying the same thing. I was reminded about the importance of being positive and seeing things positively. I was really feeling it. I was so energised and much happier. Literally, the day after finishing ‘The Secret’, I picked up the sheet of paper to practice reading the poem and suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. Even though I’d been reading the words repeatedly several days before, the meaning behind them instantly became clear. The poem was all about viewing death positively and celebrating life. It spoke volumes to me. No longer was I just reading the words, but feeling them. It wasn’t easy, but definitely easier. I was sure I could deliver the poem on the day with confidence now I believed and embraced the words and their meaning. But, just to be sure, I continued to visualise and practice daily.

There’s a slight drawback with visualisation. Not everything is as we picture it. On the morning of the memorial, ahead of the service, I went to the church with my mum. I discovered the interior was nothing like I’d imagined it. There wasn’t just one nave, but three, and I’d be standing in the middle. This threw me! Where would I face? Where would the lectern be positioned? Thankfully, there was time to consider everything, and I was able to practice the reading. I felt happier after that.

The challenge for me during the service was that my reading of the poem was to follow on from my stepsister’s reflections. I’d at least had the foresight to suggest to my mum that we have a hymn in between us. I was very grateful for that on the day. I have no recollection of which hymn it was. I don’t even recall singing. I just remember wiping away the tears, taking some deep breaths and repeating to myself, ‘You’re confident, calm and composed’. The moment of truth had arrived and it was time to read the poem.

He Is Gone

by David Harkins

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I was pleased with how my reading went. I wasn’t quite as calm and composed as I’d imagined, but that didn’t matter. The visualisation exercise and positivity had helped. Thankfully, no one could see that my knee was trembling beneath my skirt!

For me, the most touching and memorable moment of the service came right at the end. My stepbrother played ‘The Last Post’ on his cornet. It was very moving. As the music filled the church, I imagined my stepfather sitting at the helm of his boat, setting off to sea. He was smiling as he waved goodbye. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I felt a sense of peace and calm. I was letting him go.

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Books and Courses

By Lisa G Saw • March 11, 2026

THE FIRST SET OF BOOKS AND COURSES THAT HAVE HELPED ME ON MY JOURNEY I began this blog series, Living My The Best Life Possible , back in 2022 after a series of events, and a couple of chronic injuries, quite literally stopped me in my tracks. Having followed conventional approaches to try and turn things around, but to no avail, I felt compelled to seek out help from alternative approaches. I opened my mind to the possibility they could help me, taking a more holistic approach to my healing. Along my journey, I've done some serious soul searching, dug deep to uncover suppressed and hidden trauma, and held a mirror up to myself, realising there were things I needed to let go of and much I needed to change. It's been uncomfortable at times and emotional, but completely worthwhile, as I've worked through things and persevered. Awareness was key . From that I had the power to change my thought patterns and my view of the world. I know all my relationships are better for it, including the one I have with myself, and I wouldn't be where I am today without what I've learned. I've discovered there are many different ways to heal and I've been amazed by what I've learned. It's been surprising, uplifting and most of all, empowering. Along this journey I've been led from one book to another, then another, and on it goes. Sometimes the books have been recommended to me by family, friends or health practitioners, other times they've merely been mentioned in passing or in another book, and I've felt as though it was something that could help me further my knowledge and understanding. In many ways, they were like signs guiding me along at just the right moment when I needed them. My curiosity to learn more has led to a voracious appetite to read, which I've never experienced before. I love it! I feel like I'm on a fast train to somewhere, but the landscape out of the window isn't a blur as I whizz by, metaphorically speaking, but a glorious view of the world around me, simply seen from a new perspective. There is still much I wish to share in this blog series about my experience, in the hope it helps others and not just myself. But, it will take time to write it all whilst I'm still working. So, in the meantime, I decided to share some of the most significant books that have helped me along the way. It isn't the full list, by any means. For now, I'm only including a brief summary and snapshot of the significance to me, but hopefully this will be interesting and/or useful. Perhaps one of them will grab your attention and be something you might wish to read to help you on your own unique journey. I will continue to add to this list gradually, and new entries will appear at the bottom of the post, so scroll down if you're returning to this post and go directly to where you left off. You can also see a list of all the books that will eventually be mentioned in this blog by clicking on the button below.

February 26

By Lisa G Saw • March 10, 2026

WILDLIFE HIGHLIGHTS Bob and I have visited West Rise Marsh a few times this month to look for Jack Snipe, but sadly without much success. We did see one, we think, on one visit, but it flew off before we set eyes on it. It's much the same with the Common Snipe, which as their name suggests, we see more of, but they're super skittish and fly off well before we're even close to where they're hiding, around the boggy wet marshes. With so many wet, windy and dull days, plus the fact I still have to go to work, I was starting to wonder if my February Highlights would be virtually non existent, so I was content with photographing and observing a Heron, standing in the water. They can stand motionless for ages, and move very slowly, stealth-like through the water to new areas. Unfortunately, I was just moving into a new position, when it actually caught a fish. I missed capturing that moment when its head quickly and unexpectedly darted downwards and snatched its prey from the water. But, you can see the Heron in mid-gulp (first photo).

January 26

By Lisa G Saw • February 7, 2026

WILDLIFE HIGHLIGHTS January can be a difficult month for many people. I don't usually suffer from the January Blues, but I did notice this year I felt a certain flatness. I think it was largely because there were days when Bob and I would go out for a walk and hardly see anything at all. Well, that is, anything out of the ordinary. There's no doubting it - I get a real lift when nature reveals its beauty to me in its many wonderful and surprising ways. But, it's been a good reminder that even the simple things can give great pleasure if we take the time to appreciate them. Sometimes, it's worth looking with more careful eyes and appreciating even the ordinary. The year actually was off to a great start, when the snow fell early on in the month. I love the snow! I'll leap at any opportunity I have to walk in it! Living close to the coast meant we didn't have any on our doorstep, but Ashdown Forest had a good covering and it wasn't too far away to visit. Even the car park looked lovely, with the sun shining through the wintry trees on this gorgeous sunny day. It might have been crisp and cold, but we were dressed for it and of course had some welcome hot drinks after our walk. The highlight of the day, aside from the snow, was having some brief glimpses of a couple of Crossbills at the top of the fir trees, though not as good as we'd had in December .