Lisa G Saw • December 22, 2022

Visualisation And Thinking Positively

It feels appropriate to be writing this blog exactly a year after my stepdad passed away. I wanted to write about visualisation and how it helped me in the lead up to his memorial. My mum had asked me to read a poem on the day and I wanted to be sure I could deliver it without getting emotional. In preparation, it wasn’t enough to just read the poem over and over daily for about a week. I had to visualise myself reading it inside the church on the day. I imagined standing at the lectern in front of the rows of people, all dressed in an array of colour and not the usual drab black. I made a point of imagining myself reading the poem slowly and calmly, with confidence and composure. Every day I practiced and went through this same visualisation.

During the spring, I’d read several self-help books and in the week leading up to my stepdad’s memorial I finished another, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne. All of these books were more or less saying the same thing. I was reminded about the importance of being positive and seeing things positively. I was really feeling it. I was so energised and much happier. Literally, the day after finishing ‘The Secret’, I picked up the sheet of paper to practice reading the poem and suddenly, I had a light bulb moment. Even though I’d been reading the words repeatedly several days before, the meaning behind them instantly became clear. The poem was all about viewing death positively and celebrating life. It spoke volumes to me. No longer was I just reading the words, but feeling them. It wasn’t easy, but definitely easier. I was sure I could deliver the poem on the day with confidence now I believed and embraced the words and their meaning. But, just to be sure, I continued to visualise and practice daily.

There’s a slight drawback with visualisation. Not everything is as we picture it. On the morning of the memorial, ahead of the service, I went to the church with my mum. I discovered the interior was nothing like I’d imagined it. There wasn’t just one nave, but three, and I’d be standing in the middle. This threw me! Where would I face? Where would the lectern be positioned? Thankfully, there was time to consider everything, and I was able to practice the reading. I felt happier after that.

The challenge for me during the service was that my reading of the poem was to follow on from my stepsister’s reflections. I’d at least had the foresight to suggest to my mum that we have a hymn in between us. I was very grateful for that on the day. I have no recollection of which hymn it was. I don’t even recall singing. I just remember wiping away the tears, taking some deep breaths and repeating to myself, ‘You’re confident, calm and composed’. The moment of truth had arrived and it was time to read the poem.

He Is Gone

by David Harkins

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

I was pleased with how my reading went. I wasn’t quite as calm and composed as I’d imagined, but that didn’t matter. The visualisation exercise and positivity had helped. Thankfully, no one could see that my knee was trembling beneath my skirt!

For me, the most touching and memorable moment of the service came right at the end. My stepbrother played ‘The Last Post’ on his cornet. It was very moving. As the music filled the church, I imagined my stepfather sitting at the helm of his boat, setting off to sea. He was smiling as he waved goodbye. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I felt a sense of peace and calm. I was letting him go.

See next post in this series...

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Swallowtails in Norfolk: Part 2

By Lisa G Saw • June 30, 2025

In the first part of this blog post - Swallowtails in Norfolk - I wrote about our first two days spent mostly at Strumpshaw Fen, where I successfully saw my first ever Swallowtail butterfly. Following this, we had two more days exploring the area. I still hoped I'd see more of this beautiful native species at some of the other reserves. DAY 3 The forecast for this day wasn't great, but at least dry. There wouldn't be much chance of any sunshine until the afternoon, when it would warm up a bit. So, we decided to head to Buxton Heath, on the other side of Norwich. Bob knew it was a good site for the Silver-studded Blue butterfly. It's a species we have in just two locations within Sussex - both of which we've been to. It's a species that thrives on heathland and can be found in good numbers in the right habitat if it's managed well - with grazing or periodic burning in patches. It turned out the forecast wasn't very accurate. When we arrived, it was already brightening up and our chance of finding roosting butterflies disappeared very quickly. However, it was lovely exploring somewhere new and aside from one other couple and a man working there, we didn't see anyone else for the three hours we were there. We left the car park and headed towards the northern corner of the heath first and in next to no time, Bob spotted one flying. I stopped and looked down and saw there was another right beside me. I used my bins to take a closer look and suddenly noticed there were ants crawling around it. Instantly, I knew this was something special. The butterfly had only just emerged. I quickly took some photos but was having real issues with my camera. I was so disappointed not to get any good photos. The butterfly is out of focus but the ant is sharp!!! Hmmm! Not what I was going for! This close relationship with ants occurs with a few of the blue species of butterfly, such as the Large Blue, Adonis Blue and Chalkhill Blue. It's the first time I've ever seen the ants in attendance of a new emerged butterfly, so I was thrilled at least to have seen it.

Swallowtails in Norfolk: Part 1

By Lisa G Saw • June 29, 2025

When Bob and I returned from Kent, having just seen the Heath Fritillary , we looked at the weather for the following week and we saw that it was looking very changeable every day, with cool windy and/or wet weather forecast. The Swallowtail butterfly ( Papilio machaon ) is our largest native species found in the UK and Bob informed me they won't be flying if the conditions aren't good. They like the warmth! Now was not a good time for our hot spell to be over! With only one more week of my break from teaching left, we had little choice but to arrange our visit for then, regardless of the weather. I booked some accommodation for us and we figured that if we went for more than a couple of days, we were bound to have at least one fairly decent opportunity to see the final species on my UK list that I'd not seen before. DAY 1 As usual for us, we set off fairly early in the morning since we had over a three-hour drive ahead of us. The plan was to stop at Weeting Heath Nature Reserve, just inside the Norfolk border, so we could break up the drive and enjoy some time out in nature. The main purpose was to see the Stone Curlew that breed at this site ( Burhinus oedicnemus ). They're a rare summer visitor to the UK and I'd not heard of this species before. They're not in any way related to the Curlew ( Numenius arquata ), which I have seen before - though they are also quite rare and endangered. Their name relates to their similar call. We sat in two different hides during the course of the late morning and early afternoon and for quite some time we didn't think we were going to get lucky and see the Stone Curlew - though we did see a couple of Curlews. At one point I nipped back to the car, and of course that was when Bob saw one! It was on the far side of the field we were overlooking, but where the ground dipped lower out of sight. He saw it just as I was returning to the hide. So, I quickly sat down and looked for it, but I didn't get a chance to properly see it. We decided to stay a bit longer, and so this time Bob left the hide to fetch our lunch, and that was when the Stone Curlew reappeared. It even flew a short distance, quite low, as it apparently had a nest nearby and it wasn't happy about the Rooks that were too close for comfort. Don't hold your breath - the photo is pants! The bird was so far away and it was more of a record shot. However, I did enjoy watching it through my binoculars.

In Search of the Heath Fritillary

By Lisa G Saw • June 22, 2025

When Bob and I returned from our Isle of Wight trip to see the Glanville Fritillary for the first time, I was eager for the next challenge - seeing the Heath Fritillary butterfly in Kent. However, the weather wasn't quite ideal and I had to sit tight for another week before there was a good opportunity for us to head over for the day. Thankfully, it was a Friday, which meant there would be fewer people around, which we both prefer as it's more peaceful. It was still very early in the flight season with only a few sightings having been posted on social media, and this meant we might have a good chance of seeing some fresh butterflies, which is always lovely when they look pristine and fresh. Thankfully, we both don't mind the early starts when there is a good reason for it and it wasn't too ridiculously early on this occasion! It took us just over two hours to reach East Blean Woods car park, after a few detours and delays. We arrived just after 9am and only a few other vehicles were parked there. It was still slightly cool and cloudy, which meant the butterflies wouldn't be too active yet. This was ideal for us, so we could take plenty of photos. When we began the walk, I felt fairly oprtimistic we'd see some during the day, but I was prepared that we might need to look at various different sites in the area. I didn't expect that within 5 minutes of leaving the car park and having only walked 50 metres, I would spot the first one of the day, roosting on a bracken fern in the cool shade of the woods. It was a lovely fresh specimen and a wonderful start to the day. Within moments of me spotting this one, Bob saw another one roosting nearby. Fabulous!