Books and Courses 3

The Answer - Conscious Questions

by Nick Haines, The Five Institute

After reading the two books Nick wrote (Books and Courses 1) and attending a couple of his online courses (Books and Courses 2), I had access to The Answer, which is all about Conscious Questions. It was a series of video tutorials explaining what they are, how to construct them and many examples of the kinds of questions it's possible to use, for a whole range of areas within life, such as relationships, health, finances, work and understanding yourself better.

He explains the power of a positively framed question to elicit a positive response, which can help lift you upwards. Of course, if you do the complete opposite it can very quickly lead to a downward spiral. When we ask ourselves a question that is consciously chosen, with care and kindness, we're communicating with the core of our being.

I've used them extensively over the last few years, and as I've become more practised with them, I find I use them virtually every day. But, most significantly, they helped me face the past, release suppressed emotions and see myself more clearly than I've ever done before. This is something I now share with others who are interested and on my Well-being Wanders.

The Well-lived Life

by Dr Gladys McGarey (2023)

Dr Gladys, as she was often referred to, sounds like she was a remarkable woman. She was widely known as the mother of holistic medicine and she was still a practising doctor at the age of 103 (she died soon after this book was published). Aside from being a holistic doctor and medical activist, she co-founded the American Holistic Medical Association in 1978.

In this book, "she explains how to live a long life filled with vitality, purpose and joy." Her book makes for a lovely uplifting and inspiring read, as she shares her six secrets for a well-lived life:

1. You are here for a reason - what is it that makes you most happy?
2. All life needs to move - if we get stuck we need to look to get moving again - do what you can to let go so you can move forward.
3. Love is the most powerful medicine - will you choose to direct your attention towards love or toward fear?
4. You are never truly alone - at a fundamental level we are all connected.
5. Everything is your teacher - we live our best lives when we approach life with curiosity and a desire to learn from everything.
6. Spend your energy wildly - invest your energy in what matters to us, but that includes rest.

Energy Medicine

by Jill Blakeway (2019)

"For thousands of years, practitioners of Traditional Chinese Medicine have used the body's own energy - which they call 'qi' - to promote healing." In this book, Blakeway tells the story of how she discovered energy medicine and overcame her initial disbelief to become one of its leading practitioners. From hard science to the spiritual and back, Energy Medicine is a quest to find out why these alternative methods of healing are proving successful for thousands worldwide."

I found this book enlightening and amazing in places, with some lovely quotes that resonated deeply. Sometimes you read something and you just know - you feel - the words are true, which is why I wanted to share this book with you.

"Force doesn't move dense energy in the body, gentleness and love do."

I'm reminded how we don't have to see something to know it exists and there are some things we don't fully understand yet. But, gradually we are opening and expanding our minds with all that we are learning.

Conversations With God I, II, III and IV (Awaken The Species)

by Neale Donald Walsch (1995, 1997, 1998, 2017)

When it comes to religion and the question of whether there is a God, for a long time I sat on the fence. In my twenties and early thirties I felt more spiritual, especially around the time my dad died. But, time and experience gradually eroded away this belief and after reading Richard Dawkins book, The God Delusion, I finally came off the fence on the side of the non-believer - as agnostic - in the absence of proof I didn't believe there was a God. Perhaps it's a necessary step in some people's lives to experience both sides of the same coin, for greater understanding. To know love, we must know hate.

As I've continued along my healing journey in these recent years, learning from my past and realising there have been lessons to learn from it all, and many things to let go of, the question of faith and if there really is a God has come back up for me. The Soul Must Go On was the book that started my spiritual healing. With far greater curiosity nowadays and an openness and willingness to explore, I continued to read books that could challenge my current thinking. I'd heard of the Conversations with God trilogy before a few times (the fourth book came many years later). Hearing about it one more time more recently was the prompt I needed to finally read the set. It felt like the right time.

The 'conversations' are so thought provoking and at times downright challenging, and yet I feel it's been totally worthwhile and beneficial. From happiness, to money, to faith, the series moves from a look at ourselves as individuals, to global geopolitics, metaphysical life on the planet, universal truths of the highest order and the future of our planet and how we can set about a new 'infinitely better path.' It's just your average Sunday afternoon read really!!!

When I began reading the first book, I struggled to use the word 'God', and had issues with the church establishment on more than one level, which historically has been run by powerful men that might have had their own agenda. However, the more I read, I realised I didn't have to believe in the church or 'God' in the way I'd been brought up. For me, it's more about believing in the universal mysterious life force that exists all around us and within us, and how love is the answer to so many things. You don't have to be religious to know that kindness, compassion and love are the cornerstones of a happy life.

My understanding of these books didn't come from an intellectual place, but from a place of emotional resonance. I could feel the truth of the words as I absorbed their meaning, which was far more powerful. The response came from deep within the core of my body. This is the best way I can explain the remarkable transformation that has occurred within me. This is what spirituality feels like to me.

I've let go of my old beliefs and made way for the new - a personal relationship with God knowing that I am unconditionally loved, and love the same way. It amazes me that now I can even use the words 'God' and 'pray' so easily. I understand now this idea of awakening.

It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolyann (2022)

This book was recommended to me by a good friend. I was fascinated by the idea of inherited trauma, so dived into the book with open curiosity, but not because I thought it would help me specifically. However, what I discovered was revelatory! Mark Wolyann's insights directly impacted me, when I was able to see my own experience in life from a new perspective. It was another significant step on my emotional healing journey.

The book is split into three sections. 1. The Web of Family Trauma - describes the knowledge gained in recent years that explains how it's even possible for trauma to be inherited. He explains how the chromosomes and DNA make up less than 2% of our total DNA - this is what determines our physical traits and is unchanged. The other 98% is called noncoding DNA and its responsible for many of the emotional, behavioural, and personality traits we inherit, which can be changed because they're known to be affected by environmental stresses such as toxins, inadequate nutrition, as well as stressful emotions. He explains how a specific gene can be activated or silenced, so inheriting a gene might predispose you to something but it's only likely to be 'activated' by our experience in life, which goes some way to explain for instance, why an inherited illness doesn't show up at birth but later in someone's life.

2. The Core Language Map - allows the reader to gain a deeper personal insight, by exploring the repeated patterns of behaviour and experiences, so you're able to identify your own core complaint, descriptors, sentence and trauma. The words we use say more than we realise. Emotionally charged words and sentences can lead us back to unresolved trauma. 3. Pathways to Reconnection - addresses the next steps on how to move forward and shift that fear with exercises I found to be helpful.

The Brain That Changes Itself and The Brain's Way of Healing

by Norman Doidge (2007, 2015)

In The Brain That Changes Itself, which I read first, he explains all about the relative new area of science, neuroplasticity. Along with stories of personal triumph that highlight the amazing adaptability of the brain, he draws attention to the key people that over the decades have contributed to our growing knowledge and understanding about the brain.

Myths are dispelled, such as

• the belief our brain gradually begins a long process of decline after our 20s/30s
• the belief that if  brain cells failed to develop properly, or were injured, or died, they could not be replaced
• the belief the brain could not alter its structure and find a new way to function if part of it was damaged
• the belief if the brain couldn't change, it seemed that human nature (stemming from it) was fixed and unalterable as well

The research has shown we are developing new neural pathways up to the day we die. Essentially, it is never too late to change!

The key to these exercises is about always pushing yourself further to do harder levels, but just enough that you can still achieve them and improve. Feeling good, being rewarded and seeing improvements is crucial for motivation. What became apparent is that I'm far better with numbers than words and visual learning rather than auditory learning. Of course, what I realise now, based on the principle of 'use it or lose it', whilst it was good to do exercises I'm good at already and challenge myself further, the ones that were my weaknesses were where I needed to pay more attention to, or things would only get worse in time. Memory is a key thing for me, and probably a concern for most of the older population. So, when I read that the quality of the output is only as good as the input, it really resonated with me. I realised my auditory memory is not as good as my visual memory. This was due in part to not listening fully and attentively. A valuable lesson to learn and I thought worth sharing.

The second book was equally illuminating, because it addressed issues that many of the adult population will have experienced first or secondhand, or may even fear it will happen to them in the future: pain, Parkinson's Disease, Stroke, Dementia and Alzheimer's Disease. Once again, he shared stories of people doing amazing things in terms of coping and/or overcoming their specific challenges in non conventional ways. Reading this book was the first time I came across the Tomatis Method - helping opera singers who were losing their hearing and unable to reach the high notes they could before. Plus, I also discovered the Feldenkrais Method, which enables people to find new ways to move their bodies when affected by pain or dysfunction.

Tinnitus was mentioned throughout the book, something I'd been experiencing since the peri-menopause, along with high frequency hearing loss. I didn't think there was anything that could be 'done' about the tinnitus, so I'd not really thought much about it. After reading this book, which had opened my mind to so many amazing possibilities, I decided I would explore the Tomatis Method further.

Listening For Wellness - An Introduction to the Tomatis Method

by Pierre Sollier (2005)

I first came across Dr Tomatis' work in the Norman Doidge book The Brain's Way of Healing. I was fascinated to discover how his work was able to help opera singers that had literally sung themselves to deafness - they could only sing the notes that they could hear. But, change was possible. With the help of Tomatis, once their hearing was restored or improved they could sing again.

From the back of the book, it reads, "Dr Tomatis, a French ear, nose and throat specialist, is one of the twentieth century pioneers in the field of sound and music therapy. The work of Tomatis brings new insights about the role of the ear in human development. Tomatis argues that poor listening originates many educational and psychological problems. By training the ear to listen better, it is possible to improve or restore normal functioning. Tomatis' discoveries are applied successfully in the field of autism, dyslexia, attention deficit disorder, behaviour problems, motor- and speech difficulties. They facilitate learning, foreign languages, improve the singing voice, sharpen communication skills, boost creativity and maximise learning."

By the time I read this book, I'd already had a standard hearing test that revealed I had mild to moderate hearing loss. I recall being told that it wouldn't improve. Having read The Brain's Way of Healing, my immediate reaction was, 'I'm not so sure about that!' I was eager to learn more about the Tomatis Method, as I felt sure it could help me.

When The Body Says No - The Cost of Hidden Stress

by Gabor Maté (First Published 2003, Updated 2019)

"Drawing on deep scientific research and Dr Gabor Maté's acclaimed clinical work, (this book) provides the answers to critical questions about the mind-body link - and the role that sress and our emotional make up play in an array of common diesease such as arthritis, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, irritable bowel syndrome and multiple sclerosis."

He shares dozens of case studies and stories throughout the book and reveals "The Seven A's of Healing": the principles for healing and prevention of illness from hidden stress. He also discusses the unconscious defence mechanisms we develop in childhood in response to our experiences, and how that can shape our personality and how we develop into adulthood. One of the key discoveries is how suppressed emotions (stemming from childhood) can lead to chronic stress and eventually give rise to various diseases.

This book had a significant impact on me. When I read it, I was already aware, from personal experience, that trauma can affect not only our mind but our bodies too. But, I had no idea to what extent and depth. Because of everything I'd read to date, I felt his explanations were fairly easy to understand and follow about how the body responds to real or perceived threats, either consciously or unconsciously. Our stress response affects the brain, the hormonal system, the immune system and the nervous system. - all are linked, so what happens in one will affect all the others.

Scattered Minds - The Cause and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder

by Gabor Maté (1999)

Taken from the back cover: "Dr Gabor Maté' is a revered physician and bestselling author who himself has attention deficit disorder (ADD). In Scattered Minds he explores the myth of ADD as a genetically-based illness - and offers real hope and advice to children and adults who live with the condition.

"Demonstrating that ADD is not an inherited illness, but a reversible impairment and a developmental delay, Scattered Minds enables parents to understand what makes their ADD children tick, and adults with ADD to gain insights into their emotions and behaviours.

"With wisdom gained through years of medical practice and research, this book is a must-read for parents - and for anyone interested in how experiences in infancy shape the biology and psychology of the human brain."

This book was actually Gabor Maté's first book. Having been so impressed by When The Body Says No and knowing nearly a dozen people (adults and children) who have ADD or ADHD, I was keen to read this book next. The fact he has ADD (and wasn't diagnosed until he was in his 50s) and all three of his children have it too, just meant his words would resonate more deeply since they come from a place of experience and knowledge. His explanation of what it is like inside the mind of someone with ADD was powerful and insightful. He shares amazing insights into childhood development that helped me see my own experience in a new light, which was an unexpected bonus.